An Open Letter To The United States Senators Who Voted 'Yes' For Kavanaugh

Dear Senators,

When I was a little girl, I believed that I lived in the greatest country in the world. I thought to myself that this place was amazing, a place where women had equal rights and voices, where I could be anything I wanted to be and anyone I wanted to be and nothing could stand in my way. But as I grew older, I lost my rose-colored glasses and began to see the world for what it is: a place where women still have demons to fight in order to find success because there are still barriers to fight through.

I am a liberal Democrat. I am proud to say that I know what I believe, but I am also proud to say that I don't mind the nomination of a Republican candidate to the Supreme Court. Despite my disagreement with his political views, my issue with him comes down to a couple of glaring problems, and none of them have to do with differences of opinion.

I want you to understand the gravity of your vote.

You voted 'yes' to a man who has been accused of sexually assaulting multiple women. 

So, yes, I believe Christine Blasey Ford.

Yes, I believe Deborah Ramirez.

I believe Julie Swetnick.

I believe the individual who wrote the anonymous letter detailing his drunken treatment of a girlfriend. I believe survivors. I believe that the effects of sexual harassment, abuse, and assault don't have a goddamn timestamp, so stop giving them one.

You voted 'yes' to a man with a history of alcohol abuse.

I believe Charles Ludington, who spoke about his repeated drunkenness and belligerence. I believe the story of the bar fight where Kavanaugh's intoxicated actions led to a friend being arrested. I believe the classmates who talked about seeing him shambling across campus after drinking too much. I believe James Roche, his roommate who accused him of lying under oath.

I also believe people can change.

When I first heard of the allegations, I was saddened. I hoped that Kavanaugh would apologize, that he would own up to his wrongdoing and prove that he had changed. Because people can change, and mistakes don't define you if you make amends for them. I wanted to believe this was an isolated incident, that he was above the past.

But then another woman came forward.

And a third.

And then, despite Kavanaugh's insistence that he had never been so drunk he passed out or blacked out, his roommate, James Roche, revealed that he had lied under oath about drinking. Then, Charles Ludington revealed the incident at the bar. Then, I stopped hoping for an apology and started hoping he would not be confirmed.

I know that there's no DNA evidence to support these allegations, I know that there's been a few years between the time of these incidents and the present. But I also know that there is nothing harder than coming forward about being sexually assaulted/abused. I know that there is no length of time that can remove the memories from your mind when you have been through something traumatic. So because I believe survivors, I'm ready to say #metoo.

Senators, I can't tell you the date the incidents occurred, but I can tell you that we were outside playing "Hunger Games" when my stepbrother groped my chest for the first time. I was nine years old. I can tell you that it was sunny and I was just a few houses away from my brother and sister. I can tell you that we were alone in my bedroom, blinds drawn shut, taking photos on the MacBook my mother owned when he asked me to take my shirt off and kept reaching for me, putting his hands on my chest and thighs. I can tell you I was taking a shower in my mother's bathroom a few weeks later when he walked in and watched me through the glass for a few seconds before he left. There were other moments, other times, but these are a few of the most vivid memories.

I didn't speak up because I felt that I didn't have the right since he never really got under my clothes. Even though he had felt me up, tried to see me naked, and would have violated me if given the chance, I convinced myself that nothing had really happened to me and I should just get over it. So when Dr. Ford said "I tried to convince myself that because Brett did not rape me, I should be able to move on and pretend it never happened" I felt her words resonate deep within in me. I'm not telling my story because I want attention, I'm telling this story because Christine Blasey Ford is one of the bravest women I've ever admired, and I'm ready to follow in her footsteps and discuss what happened to me. I know that I am lucky that my situation never progressed past what I've outlined, and I can tell you the reason I didn't speak out sooner is that I was afraid. I was afraid people would call me a liar, or say that what he did doesn't count because he never got under my clothes, or that I didn't have the right to say I've been abused because other women have it worse.

I am almost a decade away from these incidents, and I am still haunted. Thinking about the way I was abused will always make me sad and angry and traumatized because the scars will never fully heal. This is why I believe Dr. Ford, and why I believe my fellow survivors who are brave enough to say #metoo.

We will never truly know if Kavanaugh assaulted these women, because there will never be definitive proof to confirm it either way. But I ask you to consider how you would feel if this was your daughter coming forward, or a woman you love coming forward. Would you tell her that there's no evidence to support her story? Would you tell her that her story doesn't matter since it happened so long ago?

I'm disappointed in each and every one of you. I wish you had picked a different nominee, because Republican or Democrat, an abuser is an abuser. I don't care about Kavanaugh's political alignment, I care about his character. If Kavanaugh was a Democrat, I would still advocate for his removal from his position. Just try to imagine if he were from a different party, and ask yourself if you would still feel the same way about him even then. Tell me that, without a shadow of a doubt, you would still vote yes if he were a Democrat, and I'll believe that this decision is truly about Brett Kavanaugh and not about politics for you.

Senators, give me a reason to believe there is still justice. I want our country to stop being so polarized that we can't have a conversation without someone getting upset. I want to have honest people running our nation instead of ones who lie and cheat. I want to know that we won't elect officials with histories of abuse as a political move instead of having honest intentions in mind.

You have let this country down.

You have let your people down.

You have let me down.

But even if you have failed this nation by confirming Kavanaugh, there are still chances to redeem yourselves. The battle women who have been assaulted are fighting is ongoing. The #metoo movement is a war both survivors and those who believe them will fight until we can't anymore.

Give me a reason to believe this truly is the best country in the world again.

Yours respectfully,
Maddie Kopecki